Sauna-ing Korean Style

Ladies this one's for you. All good ideas start innocently enough, right? I can thank my friend Randi for the content for this blog. Without her idea and introduction to sauna-ing in Korea, I'd have travelled through life with no idea of this wonderful and liberating pleasure.

How it all started:
 Randi to Stephanie, "so you wanna go to the sauna and get a massage?"
Stephanie to Randi, "sure, I could really use a massage."
Randi to Stephanie, "now you know, you've got to get naked."
Stephanie to herself, "huh?"
Stephanie to Randi, "really, that's no problem. I'm good with that."
Stephanie to herself, "oh shit", while mentally mapping every single bodily imperfection she has.
Stephanie to herself, "oh get over it, the Claudia Schiffer's of the world are freaks of nature, you'll be fine."

The Experience:
The Koreans have developed saunas like an art form. I felt momentarily like I was juxtaposed back to Greek times when communal nude bathing was enjoyed by the men of that society. But this was so much better because we woman are enjoying and taking time to nurture our body and subsequently our souls. Besides the whole nude part, here's what I really enjoyed about the Korean sauna experience, you've got no time limits. Unlike an American spa, where you pay through your ass (excuse the expression) for an hour to and hour and a half of tranquility, here in Korea you pay a 7,000 - 10,000 won ($6.00 - $8.00) entrance fee to go hang out in the sauna for up to 12 hours! Yep you read it right - 12 hours! Hell if you want, you can sleep there! Talk about getting away from the hubby and kids!

But, I get ahead of myself. So here's how the whole thing works. You pay an entrance fee and that fee gives you access to the several pools with varying hot water and a icy cold pool in which to really get your circulation pumping. They have also provided little stools that you sit on and a rough glove that you put on your hand to slough off all of your dead skin. So, now I know why these gorgeous creatures have glowing skin - they're like super exfoliators! When you're done soaking and scrubbing, you can go downstairs and take a rest on a mat with a pillow and blankets for awhile, or you can grab some traditional Korean food for just a few won, or you can bake some more in the Hansel and Gretel-esq oven until you can't take it any more. If you feel like your "who-who" needs a little boost, you can sit on these wooden commodes where they have herbs smoking beneath you to help detoxify all your special womanly parts. After you get done doing all of this, you can do it again! Because you've got 12 hours to kill for your 7,000 won investment! By the way, most of these saunas run 24 hours a day. Randi and I went at 9:00 pm at night and the place was busy! I'm thinking all of these overworked, underpaid housewives wanting a break from the everyday grind are "checking in" to the sauna for a little RnR.

Now, if you want to go high end and spend a little more money you can pay to have someone exfoliate your entire body and then follow it up with a full body massage. At this particular sauna the price was 35,000 won ($33.00). So, Randi and I being the big spending ladies that we are opted for the 35,000 won deal. Now, if you just want a massage, you can get that done too for 30,000 won and the massages last for two hours!

Since I was a Korean sauna "virgin" (you know I use the term virgin loosely), Randi asked the ajumma who was going to work on me to be gentle. Now, I use the term "ajumma" because in Korean an ajumma is a middle aged woman. All of the ladies performing the massages and scrubs were at least in their 50s and I believe my lady was not a day under 60. Did I mention that even the help is naked? Yep, everyone is sans clothes. I pop up on the table which is plastic covered and the ajumma puts the scrub glove on her hands and starts working me over. Now ladies, I'm not going to go into the gory details here, but there was not a single centimeter of my body that did not get scrubbed. She had me in positions that I've only tried with my hubby after diligently studying the kama sutra. Let me tell you, it's liberating!

During my scrub the ajumma showed me all of the dead skin that was coming off of my body. I was shocked and horrified that I had been carrying around that much dead weight. I figured she probably scrubbed off at least 2 pounds. The ajumma proudly announced to me in her broken English, that she was using the "baby" glove on me and she was still getting that much crap?! I can't imagine what would happen if she took the real sander to me! Once my scrub was complete, she then gently scrubbed my face and applied a cucumber mask. That's right, a facial is included as part of the scrub.

Now we're ready to move onto the massage portion of my experience but before we do that I have to rinse off my body and she needs to get all of that yucky dead skin off the table. When I stand up to rinse I take a moment to touch my skin, no kidding, like a baby's. Soft, smooth and silky! This night is seriously looking up. The Koreans believe in using baby oil very liberally when they perform a massage. She oiled me up like a doughnut going into the fryer at Dunkin Donuts and begin to work her magic. This 60 year old lady whipped me around like a rag doll. She pulled and tugged and prodded and massaged with hands like a NFL linebacker (not that I know what a NFL linebacker's hands feel like, but I can only imagine.) Because the Koreans must have gotten the memo about the great benefits of milk, they also open up a small container of milk and pour it with the oil they spread all over your body. It's crazy insane. After what seemed like a minute, but was probably an hour and a half my experience was done. I got up shaky kneed and light headed and genuinely thanked the ajumma for this incredible experience.

After our treatments, Randi and I went downstairs to the massage and mat area and met a friend of hers who was chillin' out there and waiting for us where we spent some seriously excellent girl time drinking a sweet Korean dessert and eating eggs that had been steamed in the Hansel and Gretel-esq oven.

What a night! And I barely noticed that I or anybody else was naked.

Peace,
Stephanie

PS: for obvious reasons there are no photos to accompany this post!